Dear Lord,
Have mercy on me, a sinner. Thank you for loving me. You look on me in love. You remind me that I am your child. You fill the emptiness in me. I search for meaning and you redeem the time. I have no need of anything in my life when I am at your feet. Forgive me for taking so long to arrive here, for being so distracted by so many things. Nothing matters, just you.

Father, a friend suggested I might be too "I" centered when I brought up LIFT. I want to know what you expect of me with regard to it. It is a vision. Okay, but what now? I would like to know what you want me to do about it. Anything?

The main thing is that I sit at your feet. I certainly don't put any great thing past you. If it were my doing to bring prosperity to the poor worldwide then it would be something to laugh at. But with you nothing is impossible. You have made me appear a fool for you many times. I stumble along in this life confessing my weakness and your strength. You have set me about in the wilderness living on manna.

Lord, I don't see anywhere in your Bible you indicating that you would wipe out poverty before you return. I have thought that the good news you you said you would bring to the afflicted might be such a thing. And I view poverty as a form of captivity for those who can't escape. And you have said you would liberate the captives. You said you fulfilled Isaiah 61. But you also said the poor would always be with us (Deut 15:11; Mt 26:11).

Even so, the theory goes that general economic prosperity ought to enable us to help the poor and at least make some headway even if it can't be entirely eradicated. And you know the vision is to assist charities of many kinds, thanks to wealth in the context of business stimulus. It is not really so much about wiping out poverty as it is working for worldwide enablement. But Lord, you said to the disciples 'go back out and cast your nets on the other side of the boat.' They had faith in you. And even though they hadn't caught any fish all night they took in 153 fish when they listened to you.

That is all I am asking. I ask that you speak to me. Show me which side of the boat to cast my net on and when. I won't complain if I am tired at the time you ask me, or if I have failed. I've failed from doing things on my own strength and my own knowledge and understanding rather than on yours. My timing has been bad. You've let me flounder and fail. I bless you for my failure. I thank you for shattering my stubborn heart. I thank you for reminding me that I have to turn to you, that unless you build the house in vane do all the builders labor. I thank you for asking me to wait on you.

I am a most impatient man. Forgive me. I think of King Saul's impatience to wait for Samuel. He took the priestly ministry into his own hands. He did not consider your sovereignty when you tested him. You found him wanting and you ripped the kingdom from his hands. And I have sinned against you the same way as that. I have failed to wait on you. And I have hoped to do divine things because I have loved my great thoughts. But my visions become imposters. It doesn't matter how good they seem to me. Their end is destruction when they are not subject to your timing and command.

What, therefore, Lord, do you command? How do you wish me to proceed? Shall I take this vision and crash it on the rocks as I crashed an idol once into thousands of pieces? I need to know that the vision is not from you before I can do such a thing. Have you truly made me steward of YOUR vision? If so why? Why me? I am not a dependable person, am I? I struggle to hear your voice. I am so easily confused. Could I possibly be a good steward? Give me certainty, Lord God. Clear up my confusion. Please, offer me clarity of mind, soul and spirit. Speak to me in detail. You love me. I understand that this is not about me. I just don't want to hurt anyone or be hurt by myself by failing to hear from you or by taking matters into my own hands. I submit my life to you, dear God. And I submit my endeavors to you. I ask that they be your endeavors. I ask that you hold me fast. I want to abide in you. I want your word to abide in me. I love your word. But I am asking for more specifics. Don't make me guess.

And now, Lord God, I expect answers to my prayer. I know that you will speak to me. I don't know when. But I know that I will hear from you. Only, please, do not wait so long that I grow impatient and take things into my own hands. You know I need you, Lord. I can't stand waiting for you. I have a you shaped hole in my heart. I have to be filled with you. Speak quickly. Speak tonight in a dream. I am listening. Speak this day. I ask you to bless this day. Be pleased with this new day. The moon is full. Speak. I wait in silence.