Dear Father,
Last night you gave me another dream in which I was filled with indescribable joy. There was a church to plant. But for some reason I was wanting to plant it in the land of my youth. You showed me how my family had been instrumental in building America. And you had me leading others to you, to celebrate you. And then you showed me that all of the things I was hoping for from my past were nothing but petrified rubbish. I saw it all disintegrating in my own hand. I saw the worthlessness of it.

The thrill, Lord, is in the excitement of You. It is in the consuming of your body and blood, your life! I thirsted after you and I had found you. I sought you more. I want you.

Lord, you spoke to me. You told me through this dream, though not in words, not to worry about anything. "Meden marimnate, all en panti prosevke kai dehsei meta evcharistias ta aitnmata umwn gnorizestho pros ton theon" is what you say to me (Phlp 4:5). That is why I am not worried about LIFT. I am not worried about this web site. I haven't had time to build up the ancestry for the boys or to add on the science links. None of that matters. It is all about you, Lord. My work is given to you for you to do whatever you will. I only ask, Lord God, that you speak to me. Show me what to do, what to say, how to make peace. I do ask that you use me. Only I don't care how. And I don't seek to understand how.

Lord God, your word is already clear. You love me. And I want more of you. I love you. And I love your word. Most especially I love your will. I anticipate what you will do in faith and it is like a fountain welling up in my belly full of excitement. Bless this day. Overflow! You are the Logos, the Reason which is beyond the universe, yet who masters it with love and a plan as king. And you invite mankind to reign with you so that Paul could look forward not only to your return but to your glory in your saints.

Even my little George pointed out last night to me a passage from Micah in the last chapter. You showed how your saints would reign with you as the boundaries of Jerusalem were extended and the nations were like dust. You said that those who had turned away from you, whose families had been broken in selfishness, would crawl back to you like serpents on the dust of the ground, afraid before you. Even in the coming millennium out of these you make a remnant, even as you return with all your saints in glory. Now, Lord, what could I ever do that could make the world a better place when I consider this plan of yours, when I consider that your power will be manifest in the resurrection of your saints in the descending of the Jerusalem from above?

So you have shown me. But it is not in the seeing of it that my heart has taken joy. It has been in the blind trust of faith. For to consider these events in the coming days is one thing. But to know you, leaping in my heart, is all I need. For this drink I long and my thirst can never be quenched. Paradoxically, there is no other drink that satisfies. You are the finest wine, loving master. I pray to know you more.

Now, Lord, loving God, I should thank you for all of the prayers of mine you have answered. You have been faithful. And you have heard me. When I had financial need you provided despite impossible situations. I have no explanation for it. My children also are growing and not being neglected. I have not deserved this. Lisa is showing some signs of improvement in her health. And more importantly she is smiling more and drawing close to you. But I trust in you for her continued healing. And I know you will sustain me and bring peace to Iona. Thank you for her consideration and her servant's attitude. You have sent her to us and we would not have been able to survive without her.

And then there is LIFT. Within 30 minutes of my prayer on May 11, right after devotions with Lisa, Jimbo called me up to thank me for introducing me to Jeanne. It was their anniversary. Was he the musician you spoke of? I hadn't spoken to Jimbo except once since Lisa's strokes. We had discussed LIFT together before her stroke when Lisa was healthy and he spoke of some ways he could help. Anyway, Jimbo agreed to pray for LIFT and because of the timing of his call I have been encouraged to keep working on it, to prepare the manual. Lord, help me with the manual. Write it for me. And show me who to share it with when it is complete.

Well, Father, you know all of our needs. And you know of all of my petitions and concerns for this world, for our church, for this country, for this county and state and for our city and little neighborhood. You will take care of our needs because of your good heart. Just don't make your work dependent on my constant repetition of the same things. Just do good according to the goodness of your heart, not the lack in mine. But do grow me in your love so that I can love like you. Thank you for breaking me. Have mercy on me, a sinner. I too crawl back to you in the dust.