Heavenly Father,

Chris's Lisa is now unconscious. I was stirred up last night to pray for her without ceasing. And I sense that means something very critical is taking place. She may have even gone to be with you. I thank you, Lord, because I know you are looking on her with your great mercy and love. And I know you are also bringing together your church in unity in prayer. Two days ago concerning this I asked you "Bless us also now with faith and unity in prayer. This I humbly pray." And now the whole family and all of our prayer partners are gathered together in unity, offering up this good woman to you, that her soul might find a wonderful place in your arms, and that if it be your will that you should prove yourself, even now, with an extension of her days on earth. For we are weak in our faith and still have need of signs. The boat is tossed about in the storm and we see you sleeping as we cry out, "Master, we are perishing!"

Lord, you do prove yourself constantly. My very body is comprised of cells that do not become cancerous because they are intelligently designed. There are trillions of cells in my body and each one is comprised of tiny building blocks of different types called molecules, which make up both the nutritional matter and the DNA which is rarely effected by the randomness of spinning and turning and moving about of the mini-galaxies each one of them actually is.

Mini-galaxies. More of them than man can count. You put us here as beings so complex that within each one of our bodies we would have more galaxies to consider than the number of galaxies we can see with the best telescopes our scientists have made. And when we look outward we see their randomness. Yet you bring order to the many more galaxies which make up our bodies.

Each one of these galaxy-like molecules that make up human cells is made up of a number of atoms, which have energy that spins and fluctuates at the speed of light, electrons, neutrons and protons, imitating solar systems, but so small that even the best microscope can't view them. We can only prove they are there through experimentation. Yet You control each one of them so that they do not collide, so that their electrons do not fly away. You order them with gravity and internal forces we can't understand. And you coordinate their relation to one another so that they combine into the various kinds of molecules, molecules combining into various kinds of cells, cells combining into various kinds of organisms, including mankind.

If by evolution this has occurred then we assume that this combining effect happened over billions of years randomly, taking advantage of the order of each atom and its natural ability to be relational and combine with other atoms, becoming useful for the construction of molecules even to the point of life, and even to the point of conscious life and rational life. All of this by chance. And if chance was the cause of us so be it but the odds of us being here right now so constituted are infinity to one. And I do not believe that. For even if it is possible that such an order and evolution could randomly take effect over a time span of 30 billion or more years, increasing the odds by the advantage of unlimited time, the odds that my personal life, the one that is me, should occur at the same time as this already unlikely conjunction within the universe is multiplied by the length of time over the time of my life-span. Time, assumedly is infinite. Therefore, I should not be. The odds are infinitely against it. Yet I am.

So, Lord, I find the principal that I am when I should not be. And I see that I am made up of countless spinning molecules that are like solar systems in galaxies making up the universe, which You display, I suppose, just to make it known that you are a very big God. You reveal to us immeasurable energy, even if we understand this as a big bang and many suns and a great expanse. We understand that there is immeasurable power. This is revealed to us from the beginning even without prophets or scriptures. Yet I do not see this immeasurable expanse coming together with any order. It does not look like a body. It does not look like a cell. It does not look like a molecule. It just looks like an explosion. It looks like chaos. It looks like an ocean. And when I see this I consider that my own body is made up of the same random stuff. Yet it is ordered. It does not explode. The spinning molecules are not colliding. I am not an atom bomb. There are not explosions everywhere from each man's lack of created order. Neither do other organisms explode. Nor do the rocks blow up. Except when man loses his senses and plays God.

You thus reveal Yourself as Sustainer of all things. Your Majesty is known not only by the great expanse, but by the great design. There I find Your omniscience. There I find your Redemption. For I see from the beginning that I should blow up in a fiery fury in every atom of my being, but You order me instead, and make me to be comprised of harmony. You thus reveal Yourself through creation itself as Redeemer. There is no need of any prophet or any religion or any book. You declare Your nature through nature to us creatures. And you reveal Yourself as a controller of every cell.

It is for this reason that I have absolute confidence in You concerning Chris's Lisa and my Lisa, that You both fully know their need and that you are able to heal them. You would not have even needed to show us the miracles of Lazarus or of Your own resurrection or of the many healings which have been reported. I see them every day before my very eyes, every minute, every second. You have already proven Yourself to me.

But others haven't seen this. I do ask that you open their eyes, Lord. For we have eyes to see and ears to hear but we neither see nor hear. We want to believe but we are convinced you don't care about us because when we ask You for specific things You don't do what we ask. You appear to be sleeping in the boat during the storms of life. It appears You don't care. When You awoke from Your sleep and calmed the see You were angry with us because we didn't know You in faith, through the things that are unseen. You desire that we should have a relationship with You that is beyond what we see, that we should be still and simply know that You are here. This You reveal through nature, by refusing to answer our prayer requests as we would have them, even when our requests are vital, when our very lives are at stake. Even then You do not answer. You reply only with a request for trust in You, whom we ought to know, but in whom we lose faith.

Lord, this is what I thank You for because this is what You are doing. I thank You because You do not heal. I thank You because You deem it better that we should perish. I know this is contrary to the principle of abundant life that seems right. But I know also that You died for me and that You make all things new. Things that don't make any sense do make sense when You fulfill all things. For what is long life compared to eternal life? And what is sin stained life compared to glorified life in union with Your Ever-Abundant Spirit? Why do we complain about loss in this small thing when it means the gain of all glory? Death is a gift because it allows for a resurrection in a new order, an order without fault.

Such an order is inconceivable to me because I have never experienced it in this world. Here I have found so much disharmony. Here I have found sickness, greed, inappropriate lust, arguments, crimes and war. Despite any evolution, things have gone from bad to worse in this human race so clearly fallen. In this world the heavens seem like an opiate of the people. No one even believes in them. They are little more than a consolation. To console my brother they seem like platitudes. Besides, when we want and yearn for life in this world what good is the promise of a future day? We even rob one another of mourning.

Do not let me be a sore sign in Chris's eyes, Lord. Permit me to be a healing ointment. I mourned because he was far from me. But now I stand at a distance lest the light of my thoughts compound his agony. He called David and asked him to call me to tell me he was looking for someone to give his Lisa last rites. I am no comfort to him at this time or he would have called me directly. The man who is looking for comfort in this world can't be comforted by my presence in this world. Therefore, I come to You and I ask that you send your holy Comforter to him. For Christ is risen. You sit at the right hand of the Father. Father you promised your Spirit. And Chris has believed in Christ through You, Holy Spirit, even if somewhere along the line he got turned off by people like me, people he feels shove religion down people's throats, who wear it on their shirt sleeve. You have called me to intercession rather than action at this time. So here I am journalizing in prayer. Walking before You, Living God.

We have no worries, Lord. You are here. Yet I ask that you provide comfort to my brother, comfort I can't give. Provide also comfort to Lisa, if she is still alive. Give her Your breath and Your assurance. Reveal Yourself to her, Tender and Merciful Lord. Let her offer her sins to You with a plea for mercy and a claim to Your cross. Chris and Chris's Lisa and I were all baptized from the same baptismal font in a Presbyterian Church almost fifty years ago, Lord God, and it was into You we were baptized with all of those You wished to gather into Your arms as a hen gathers her chicks to protect them and nurture them. We were all baptized into Your death and into Your life. And we are still dying, yet You are already rising within us. Your kingdom is on earth even as it is in heaven and it is already in our midst. Therefore I beseech You that you avail Your kingdom power to Lisa even now and to our Chris and to this whole family, even as a leaven that can leaven the whole lump.

Do not let any of these construe any good thoughts, intentions or prayers as platitudes. But rather, open our hearts to the authentic love which You desire for us, Author of Life. I simply ask to be a lover of mankind and for my brothers and sisters like You, Lord God. Grant me more love, more power, and more of You in my life. Let my warring in the flesh be put to rest. This is not my battle. It is Yours. And I trust in You even when it seems You are sleeping. For You never slumber nor sleep. And we should know this. Therefore, I ask that you completely subdue me. Baptize me in your Spirit, Almighty God, and all these with me. Bring us beyond concepts and make this baptism real. Your children are asking You for loaves and for fish, Loving Father. You will not give to us snakes and scorpions, even if those are what we deserve. Because we cry out to You for mercy and for life. Our hope is in our Savior. Grant us peace in our day. Such is Your kingdom in this world. Such is Your mercy and presence. Thank you for uniting with us in knowing You.

Thus I see Your loving hand on Chris's Lisa. I see You also shedding Your tears, loving her with us. And I know you also love Chris, even as I do. Precious in Your sight is the death of Your saints. Thank you for making us to be holy, Lord. Chris is distraught now. And he has no one to turn to but You. Grant him peace in knowing You, Lord. Dispel the darkness of confusion and anger. Reveal Your tender mercy, Your forgiveness, Your long-suffering, Your understanding, Your friendship, Your goodwill, Your compassion, Your proximity and also Your majesty.

Good Comforter I praise You and I thank You for all of these things. For I have no memory of life before my life or of any lives before this one which I perceive. I see that I am not eternally prenacent. Rather you placed me here against all odds, subjecting all creation, including time itself to me, enabling my being, thereby revealing your Son's majesty in my life. For this is the Comfort of You, Holy Spirit. You have designed me to be Your holy temple, to be Your bride, to be filled by You, to be united with You in love and to subdue the entire universe through and with You. Creation itself reveals this to me. This book, creation itself, is written for all to see. Yet, though we have eyes, we don't see. Therefore, I pray that you open our eyes. Awaken our hearts. For what a tragic loss it is to be a temple yet fail to be filled with Your presence by virtue of blindness. Rather let us be what You designed us to be, dear God, Your precious bride. Wake us up. It is not You sleeping. It is us. Forgive us, Lord. Let the nations be healed.

This prayer I beg of you, My God and Father, a sinner made worthy by Your mercy to speak into Your ear, to play on Your lap, to lavish at Your bosom. Dust I am, yet Your temple. How can I offer praises sufficient for Your glory in me? It can never be except, Lord, open up a fountain from my belly, from my gut, as my heart sees Your glory. Move me in the love of what You love. Amen.