Dear Lord of All, Gracious Provider, I have not had the opportunity to journal much at all this month. I have been doing so much overtime at work. Somehow, Lord, we are managing to pay our rent that is due in a few days. It hasn't come easily. Today I go to turn in my Express Messenger shirts, phone and cooler because I have taken a new job and my boss has threatened in the past to sue me for a conflict of interest, as though I were not allowed to take a new job, because it is one of their clients. Lord, you are in full control of this situation. I am trusting in you for both a good outcome to any legal confrontation and to provide for my family. I have to find a second source of income because Lab Corp. does not pay a living wage and does not allow much over time. I thank you that they do supply a company car for our personal use so that Lisa can be free to search for work. I ask that you make getting her license back a simple matter, and that you give her the strength to not only drive safely with her one arm but also to obtain work and the healing that we have been praying for.

Lord, I feel unsure about this move to Lab Corp. I have asked you for a clear word about it but they won't keep the door open if I quit now that I have agreed. Medicaid wouldn't pay Lisa's occupational therapy but it appears the new health plan will, only the health plan costs about 45% of the already pathetic salary. Give me wisdom as I decide on both this job and the health plan options. I feel like a slave, but you have shown me this is not a bad thing, because you gave up your life as a ransom for others. You became a servant for me. I do want to serve. But I also need to provide. My family needs more than this. And you know that I am a writer and a thinker and a webmaster, not just a driver. I don't understand why you never prospered me in the things you designed me for. I know that you work all things together for a perfect end and that this somehow fits into your grand masterpiece. From this angle I can't yet see how. And if I take this job plus another I will neither see my family nor have time to develop this web site, which I had hoped to create as a prototype for others.

I think back to the cross. You died very young. You could have prospered and ruled the world. Your skills were most certainly unused. The world knows no carpentry work of yours save the cross, and this was not your work but ours. And it certainly knows little of your grace. You came to save us but we continue to deny you and destroy ourselves. Despite all these things you will take the chaos of this world and rule it. You will bring up a remnant of holiness and you will bring down the heavens to reign on this earth for a thousand years. All of your holy ones will reign with you and the nations will bow down because your glory will be revealed in the day you rule with a rod of iron. In that day the Jews will see the one they pierced, we all will. And we will all know you as the Christ. Deception will be dispelled. And healing will be brought to the nations entirely. The one who lives less than 100 years will be thought accursed. Earth will be Eden. And when satan is thereafter released to see if he can deceive the nations again you will slay him with the breath of your mouth. You will make all things new. He will not succeed. And you will make a new heavens and a new earth.

Lord of All Things, I can't comprehend these things. I only know that you do rule over all. I only know that despite my personal misfortune that you have a plan not only for my own life but for each person which will become a testimony to your goodness, so that your glory may be revealed. So that ultimately, everywhere a person looks they will see the light of your glory. They will move from glory to glory. And they will turn their hearts to you so that they too can become children of the light. Lord, from this angle I am not able to walk by sight. I have to walk by faith, knowing the things you have taught me. I ask you Lord, therefore, as a blind man, to please be the only one that guides me through this present darkness, for the deceiver and the destroyer have prevailed in this world and I have been targeted. Do not let him take my hand. Come save me from him and from myself. Make me to be a leader in my home, in my community and in this world, by your strength since mine is gone. And since you are our only hope. I pray to you the only Lord and God. I pray and ask these things of the one I can never see face to face, nor imagine, nor comprehend, nor conceive - You, Lord, from all eternity, I cry to you. Hear my prayers, which I offer with confidence, because of the grace you have revealed in your word with its promises. I thank you for the forgiveness of my sins. I accept your cleansing. I accept my rebirth. I put on the one I can't comprehend. I receive the king of glory.