Lord God, Ever-present All-knowing, Lord whom I cannot see with my eyes but whom I know hears me, I thank you for your mercy on me. I am grateful that you have not ignored my pleas to you for mercy. I don't serve a god of stone or wood, a crucifix or icon on a wall that is lifeless. I serve my loving Creator and Redeemer, whom I cannot comprehend and for whom all images fail to scratch the surface except by grace which is beyond me. Lord, you have never failed. Yet I am pitiful. I can't sleep for all my sin and the destruction that has followed in its wake. I have been like a ship without a rudder, tossed around on the sea. I asked for guidance but it was too late. I had to pay the price of fatherlessness and being personally stubborn, ignorant and unskilled. My discernment has been terrible. My pride has been disgraceful. And I am right to be ashamed.

Please, Lord, allow me to make up for my mistakes. Cause me to be a humble and gentle man. My sin is close to me. Don't hold it against me. But deliver me from it, from myself. Let me to be born again. I ask you, Lord, for your guidance. Grant that I may be a good father to my sons, training them with your admonishments, being as you would be, not frustrating them, but giving vision and skill with love.

Grant that I may also be a worthy caregiver to Lisa. I have become tired. Grant her healing soon, Lord. She continues to improve and now she is back in school. Iona is leaving in another month. Help me to find someone to assist me with Lisa and the boys. She will be missed. This is a challenging time. We are still in need of a steadier income. We could buy a house, I think, and our lease is expiring end of February. But we are lacking income and can't get prequalified without it. Lord, I fell down and I'm struggling to get back up again. You are aware of the barriers. Help me to navigate through this without further loss and provide what is needed along the way. You have never failed me.

Lord, I know you will relieve us from this suffering in time if we will continue to turn to you. I am concerned precisely about that because whenever I turn to you I get mocked by satan. I have had thorns in my flesh, Lord. I have pleaded with you concerning my weakness. I beg your mercy on me. Do not wait for my perfection before you answer my prayers. You know that I stand in need of you, that I am hopelessly lost. I fail in one thing and then another. And the things I hope to conquer in the flesh through prayer continue to ridicule me. Even things I thought were long in the past come back. I am not entirely blind. Yet, open my eyes and my heart to your ways, even your glory, your warmth, your love. Restore laughter into my life. Soberly, lighten me up. Lift the weary spirits in this house. And may my house be a microcosmic leaven for this hurting world.

Lord, I thank you that you have driven me to keep my thoughts pure. Kindle in me further the desire to pray and draw near to you both alone and with others. May this day be a day of deliverance and gladness. Restore joy to my house and to those I touch. I count these requests as done because I believe in you. Therefore, I pray with great thanksgiving in my heart, blessed Lord.