Daddy, I wake up this morning feeling refreshed despite so much trouble. It makes no sense because last night Lisa was sick and I had to get up five times to care for her. And yesterday she stayed in bed all day long. Except that you are my strength.

Father, please don't be insulted that I continually ask for the same things. I know that you are in full control even though it seems like you've been sleeping in the boat and the waves of the storm are going to kill us all. I know that you know my needs before I speak them. And I know that my prayers are inadequate for what my real needs probably are. You know what is good and right for me far better than I do.

On Sunday someone suggested that I might be at fault and that perhaps you were trying to say something to me through my very difficult circumstances, particularly, my inability to find appropriate work. I went to church without Lisa and the boys feeling very upset. Lord, if you wanted to say something to me by all of this did you really have to annihilate me this way? Couldn't you have just spoken with words in a very clear voice? But if you have spoken to me concerning any bad choices of mine, or some stubborn refusal, then you are still perfectly unclear as to what you might mean. And your word says that you are not a God of confusion. Quite the contrary, your word never grabs my attention, helping me see my fault or unwillingness. I have tried to listen to your voice and be obedient to what I have heard. Where you have spoken clearly you know that I have followed you. What you have said to me concerning this is simply that the rain falls on the just and the unjust alike. You have also revealed to me that satan asked permission to destroy my life as a test of faith. But I wonder what the benefit of that is. It seems most harmful. And you have not allowed me to prosper so as to serve in ministry. You have made me to be one who is in need, one who stands in need of the service of others. You have taught me humility. And you have shown me what it is like to be very poor, being one voice among billions who have very great need.

Father, I thank you in all things. I know that you will prove yourself. No one is your judge. I simply say that I love you. And I thank you for your immeasurable and ineffable love for me and my family, my Father, my Provider.

My Daddy, I have asked you many times to show me any sin in myself that I am unaware of. Many of my sins you have made known to me. They are ever before me to my shame. I don't see the connection between these sins and my difficult circumstances on account of your forgiveness and promises and great love for me, your son. For I know you will discipline the ones you love. But even I make it clear to my children what I am punishing them for when I discipline them because I have an eye for their correction and development. I also give them clear warnings regarding what our rules are and what the consequences are. And I am very slow to be angry with them. If I am being punished for my sins you have not done the same for me. Therefore, I have concluded that you have not treated me this way on account of my sin.

Father God, you know that I have confessed to you that my sin is great. And you have revealed to me that I am a far greater sinner than I first thought. I have discovered in the midst of my trials new depths of sin in myself, great selfishness in my heart, and even a killing spirit at times, as I have discovered my insensitivity and as I have failed to consider others greather than myself. I have let their weaknesses anger me. And I have been cruel with my tongue as I have sunk into my own world and my own problems, as if it centered around me. But you know that in confessing these sins to you I have turned to the cross and your promises. I have asked to be renewed in your grace. I have asked for a better heart that I should be transformed into your image, that I might have the mind of your Son, as you want me to be. Praying this way I have been confident that I have been praying according to your will. Therefore, I have been perplexed when I have not been entirely transformed, when I have found in myself thorns in the flesh so that satan can continue to buffet me. Yet all the more I cry out to you for deliverance. And I look to my loving Father, my Daddy, who will not provide a rock or a scorpion when his son asks for his Holy Spirit or for any good food.

Therefore, I will sing aloud of your righteousness all my days, heavenly Father. I will count my prayers for deliverance answered. I will put on joy despite my trials because I know that it is for the cause of your glory and revelation, that others might taste and see that you are good, that you are real in this earth. I will testify concerning your love and your faithfulness. My soul rejoices in my Savior, my Rock, my Strong Tower. You are my very present Help in time of need. You are my very best friend, the King of the Universe, who knows me better than I know myself. What thing should I fear?