Heavenly Father, last night I had a dream that I was on the island of Palm Beach, where I grew up. A man with a bicycle built for two was there and I wanted to ask him if I could have it to give to Lisa for Christmas. But on trying it out it appeared to be a little too dangerous. It was hard being there and having so little. I wake up to the reality that I can't pay our rent come the beginning of January unless some unexpected income source comes in and I am not even close to having completed our Christmas shopping. What a dilemma. I am too embarrased to ask the church again for help. My job is insufficient to pay our bills. Our meager credit is already fully extended.

I think the dream brought me back to Palm Beach because my earthly father, my provider as a child, was there. I come to you now seeking help as a child. It is Christmas time. I have loved that you have promised great things for my future by the birth of your Son, my Brother, my Lord, into whose inheritance I enter. How can I thank you enough. But I fail to see this victory here now on earth. Christmas day looks like a brick wall I am heading into. The momentum of time is pushing me into it full speed. I need your help, Daddy. I am humiliated in my circumstances. Any Christmas gifts I buy are irresponsible because I have to pay our rent and our other bills. And any extra work I do takes me away from my family. It's bad enough that I have to be away from them forty hours a week or more.

Father, I don't say these things as a complaint. I say them because of your sufficiency. I say them because I expect you to do something, as you always have. I have seen many hard times but you have always come through. I have lived well, eaten well, and had a full life. When there were stressful situations you made the times great, exceeding my expectations. You made me weak so that there would be room in my life for you to prove yourself. So that you would be there as the center piece for all to see. And how could I ask for more than that? You have perfected my life.

So Lord, this situation is perfect. It is not anything I can understand. I can't make ends meet. But I know you have something wonderful in store. And now since I am journaling online I look forward to telling others about your work. You will meet my needs. And I will declare to others your abundant glory. Your light will shine in this darkness. I thank you for your mercy, Lord. I make no presumptions. It is because of your abundant mercy. It is because you are slow to anger and overflowing with mercy (Ps 103:8). You have forgiven me my failings. And you raise me from the dead. Thank you, Heavenly Father. Thank you, good and gracious God.