Dear Lord, today's reading was of 1 Cor. 8. Paul was sent as an apostle. Please, show me what it means to be an apostle. I don't fully understand this word. I know that it means "one who is sent." But there are different views and applications of it. Some churches which call themselves "apostolic" point back to a succession of episcopal anointings which they can certify through documents. Irenaeus traces the lineage of apostolic succession in Rome as one example among many. It was the apostolicity of his message which gave it authority to the gnostics and those influenced by heresy. Paul also, in speaking with the Corinthians felt the need to remind them that he and Barnabas were both apostles. It seems, Lord, that living in the time of Christ and being with him prior to his resurrection was not required so long as there is a personal resurrection appearance such as that experienced by Paul. Paul described this as "outside the normal course." He said he was "one untimely born." What I want to know, Lord, is whether apostolicity still exists today. Paul spent three days in blindness and fasting to begin his walk with you. And you spoke even at the beginning of that in a way that he could recognize your voice. I also have sought you with much fasting and much solitude but I struggle to hear your voice. I am easily confused. Furthermore, I can't point to a church such as that at Corinth and claim that it is the fruit of my apostolicity as did Paul.

Lord, Ray Coughran uses the term "apostle" to describe his ministry. And Lisa did, indeed, receive healing in her shoulder the night we went to the Hilton Hotel. It was the first time she had any movement in her affected arm. Since that time she has not used her wheelchair at all and her cane got run over by the car. But she doesn't have need of it. It is hard to pinpoint what has caused her healing. We have done everything we could to help her, from contrast baths to excersizes at home to therapy and nutrition. She is young and this also would be a help. And at the same time many people have prayed for her. So whether it was a special anointing given to Ray Coughran I don't know. By whatever means I know that her healing is a good thing and that it is, therefore, from you. And I ask you for her continued healing. But I also ask that you bless the work of my own hands. Send me out, Lord. And fill me with the compulsion you gave to Paul to preach even if there was no reward. I may not have seen you with my eyes but I've known you through your work and I believe in you. And I love you.

The historical churches also make a claim to apostolicity. But I see also in Irenaeus and with him more emphatically, Tertullian, saying that both power and fidelity to truth identify true apostles. It is not merely the succession, as important as that may be. And almost as scathing of the bishops as Tertullian is Symeon the New Theologian. I wish both power and succession upon your bride, Lord. May the churches that have no such succession be restored to the fathers and the father's hearts be restored to the children. I wish, Lord, that the church would be restored to its first love. I love the enthusiasm and love of children. I love my Jonathan's desire to spend time with his father. And I lack energy. But I pray you will energize the church of the fathers, the historical churches. Renew them to power and zeal like little children. And let your church be united. Let it be apostolic. Let neither history be rejected nor power. But let all regain a zeal for truth. And may it be all about you, Lord. Be the head of your church. Be the head of my family. Show me true apostolicity, Lord. Thank you, Lord Christ.