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8/28/4
Heavenly Father,
My body is so tired from working. But you are my hope. Your Son,
Your Spirit. You give me life. You give me purpose. You pray in
me. And sometimes I write in this journal or I write articles. And
then I go back and read. And I see that You have spoken through
me, this broken vessel. You have had compassion on me. And I thank
You. Your touch is visible and evident.
Lord, how can I praise You? How can I begin to see Your face? When
will You heal my blindness? When will my heart be pure? I want to
worship You without ceasing, Lord. But my body feels miserable.
And I am distracted most of the day. And even when I seek Your face
I dance around the outer courts. There is something between us.
It is the fact that nothing I imagine in my mind is actually You.
My mind is full of thoughts even when I acknowledge truly You are
with me. I know You are there but I can't see You.
I take comfort in knowing that You hear my words. But I long for
the pure spiritual milk of the Logos. I want to feed at Your breast.
I want more of You in my life, in my heart, in my mind, in my strength.
I want to disappear as You appear in, through and with me. Yet I
see myself all over the place. Heal me, Master. Let Your kingdom
come on earth even as it is in heaven. Lord, I don't know love.
It is opposed to this sleepy body of mine. I am thinking about my
daily affairs. And I am not interceding for the people you've acquainted
me with or for this perishing world - not with the fervor that is
appropriate for the sons of God, for those who reign with You in
the glory of Your love, in Your limitless compassion, in Your selfless
service. Take my heart, my Father. Let me be like You. This is where
I want to see Your imprint in my life - in loving with Your love.
Lord, You answer prayer. And I have prayed what You want. I expect
results. I'm inclined, therefore, to remind You of my previous prayers
- most especially for the conversion of 100 Osama Bin Ladens to
become 100 St. Pauls. What man can't accomplish You can accomplish.
And I also add this to my list of prayer requests - deliver us from
the culture of death. Open our eyes and our hearts. Free us from
the desire to abort our children, to divorce our wives, to quit
our jobs, to indulge ourselves, to blow up our enemies. Convert
us. And teach us to desire excellence - in relationships, in commitments,
in personal sacrifice. Instill in the myriads of people a love for
one another that they have never known before. And above all, plant
in them a deep love for You. For You came to give them abundant
life. Show them what this means.
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