Dear Lord,
Today you had me leading a class on a subject I hadn't expected - the problem of poverty. I'm not sure what you had in mind for me, Lord. You know that I had wanted to take part in offering a good solution. You know all that I did. And you know that you did not bring me the team that was needed or the resources to see the vision fulfilled. Lord, it surprises me that my thinking is so unique because I feel so right. Why can't I get anybody to listen to me, Lord? You give me detailed plans and then you let them drop into the abyss. I wind up delivering pizza in my spare time. You know that I long to serve. I don't care what manner. But you know the tremendous good that would result from LIFT. Yet you allow the devil to force it into obscurity.

Many times I feel that you have no plan to see such good things come to pass before you return to rule here on earth. I know you will work all things together for good, that your ways are higher than mine. I can't lean on my own understanding on this. You could have also ruled over the world and done much more than what LIFT could ever propose to do even two thousand years ago, when there wasn't even the help of technology. Maybe it is appropriate that the only kind of translation software I can add to my site is Babelfish. You remind me that you don't want man to build to the heavens. I don't fully understand why. Maybe it is because I don't yet understand the complexity and danger of human pride. I am a very naive man.

Lord, there have been many good men whose lives have been taken. You keep me here. I assume it is because you have something you want me to do, some purpose. But you don't let me evangelize on a worldwide scale. And neither have you allowed me to stimulate economic growth globally. All of my plans and efforts were thwarted. But you said, instead, "be true to your vows." Therefore, I have been offering you small acts of service to my family as an aroma I pray is pleasing to you. I have been trusting in your power to accomplish something much better than I ever imagined. With you, Lord, after all, there is not simply prosperity and knowledge, but power and love. And I have no means of including these in my plans. They can only come from above.

Lord, I have taken pleasure in letting go of my plans, even though it seemed very clearly that it was the devil who stole, who destroyed. Perhaps, if I had succeeded I would have fallen. But as it stands I am humbled and still more dependent on you daily. I am dependent on you for the healing of my wife and for our finances and for peace in our home. I am dependent on you to keep wars at bay and the economy going. I am dependent on you for good relationships at work.

You keep the subatomic particles that spin at the speed of light from crashing into one another, causing countless atomic explosions throughout the universe. You cause me to have perception here and now, rather than any other point in time, although the odds of this coincidence are infinity to one. You, thereby prove to me that you care about me. You don't make me wait through infinity past to be born. You have taken all of the past and moved it to the side so that I can live right now. And you do this for all of your creatures, past present and future. For those in the past or the future of me, their present is now. What glorious attention you offer to your creation! I find this to be even more impressive than your death for me on the cross, though the two expressions of love both stem from your one ineffable bounty.

Lord, despite the fact that you have allowed me to be pushed way down in life I am the richest of men. You know I can do all things in you. I don't understand why no one has helped me with LIFT as of yet, other than one person. You know that there needs to be a popular movement to make it work. And you know that I have to present it in a much simpler way if it is to work because it is too confusing at first glance. Or should I say that someone else entirely needs to do the presenting?! Be that as it may, suffice it to say that I haven't given up on the idea. I am glad that you had me do the work that you did on it a year-and-a-half ago. It gives me a point of reference. And I don't put it past you to bring it up in your timing.

You know that the past years have been very hard. I don't really understand why you would put off the needs of so many others, all those who would have benefitted by LIFT if it had ignited when it was first conceived. That is perplexing. If you ask me it should have been up and running seven years ago, when the Internet was first becoming popular. Lord, what is my stupidity? What is it I don't understand? Why do you allow poverty to continue when it could be so easily undone? Lord, if there are flaws in the proposal, or changes that need to be made, show me. I stopped all work because there was no one helping. Send good helpers if you want poverty to end, if you want prosperity to come to the earth.

But what you have shown me is that I draw closer to you when I am in need. And those who are poor live in greater dependence. We need you for daily sustenance, like manna. We need miracles on a daily basis just to survive. This has not been a happy situation for me and my family but it has been a time for spiritual growth. So why will we always have the poor with us? Because before you return we will continue to take you for granted when we have all our needs met. And I'm not entirely sure that would change after you come back to reign on earth.

Lord, if I was not ready for prosperity why should anyone else be? Perhaps, I serve a poor man best if I give him but a days worth of sustenance, rather than a life's worth of skill. Would he be better blessed by the continued demands upon his faith as I have? And Lord, you haven't given me much. Have I failed to be faithful in a little? Is this, perhaps, the general dynamic among the poor?

When you came, Lord, you spoke of the poor in spirit, how blessed they were. For ours is the kingdom of God. Are the poor of this world both materially and spiritually empty? You know the answer to this question, Lord. I am not their judge. It is even difficult for me to judge myself rightly. I want to confess to you all of my sin. But I can't fathom the depth of it, what it means to you. I can only see what it means to me. What seems small to me may seem large to you. I ask that you would reveal your heart to me so that I might offer you better repentance and contrition. Help me to turn from my sin and be a better man. Show me your heart. Let me love as you love. Let me forgive as you forgive. Let me pray as you pray. I am helpless. This request is large. I am numb and pitiful. Heal me. Give my life worth by fashioning me in your image. I pray gratefully because I know of your kind mercy and I know I pray for what is good. I pray boldly because you are my friend. You chose me. You love me. You order the universe around me. I simply wait on you. I praise you.